Live life and life will live you back

I was sitting with 2 friends yesterday and they happened to question my dealing with few people around my life who were very close to me at one point of time. They felt as if my treatment of them in my current life was unreal and very shallow. But I genuinely think that the more we keep pain and grudges in our mind and heart for someone it’s not them who is suffering it is we. The moment we forgive them, the same instance we set ourselves free of all the shackles of emotions and unwanted chains of energy, which is binding us. Everyone comes in your life for a reason to teach you something. But if a person comes in your life again in whatever form, probably something more was left which as a human being you need to learn. Even a person you bumped into while going for a morning walk has bumped into you for a reason, maybe just to give you that smile. Even our family is our family because we fitted into that mould which God created for us for a reason. I am not asking you to forget the past, just learn from it and see how it has shaped your current life.  Maybe you don’t realize in your immediate present but wait for a few more months and I am sure you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see myself much more confident and beautiful person right now. I trust me and I love me. A year back I did not love myself. I liked me but never loved me. If someone told me he/she loves me I used to doubt their feelings because I could not trust my feelings for myself. A lot of times we let ourselves guided my pain is because of our desperation. Desperation to be successful in career, relationships, heath. We just want to do things perfectly. But what is this perfection? Who set it up? Society did. Stop letting yourself judged by societal norms because when something good happens in your life that is perfect for you not when society expects it to be perfect for you. So, stop getting desperate. Stop demanding too much from yourself. Stop putting too much pressure on yourself. Just take a few minutes out of your own life and breathe. Just Breathe. Let life live you. Do not force yourself on life. It will be beautiful. Human life is just amazing. We have two eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. We are living. What is better than living a human life? Just cherish yourself and life will cherish you.

Ridiculous Mumbai housing scene

Bombay a.k.a Mumbai is definitely not an easy city in terms of housing for single people not born and brought up in Mumbai. Somehow it seems as if its written on the forehead if you are single and from the entertainment industry you are bound to cause problems.
Why is it so hard to get one decent apartment? and by decent I really do not have expectations too high. Today I had an argument with the society manager because I was crazy backache caused by an injury. Here I am trying to sort my job and my health thing out, on the other hand the society people do not give a shit about you. Even though it is their fault, all I am worried about is I hope they do not throw me out of the apartment.
Can we not have a proper background check and police verification and have decent people stay in apartments rather than based on their marital status. Is it ok to have an estranged couple and wife beater/husband abuser stay in the apartment rather than a decent single person having a regular job and looking to have a family? I really fail to understand these hypocrisies.  Why is it that I have to fly my Mom all the way from a different city just to sign the lease for the apartment and verify I am legitimate. :(

The unfortunate truth about housing in Mumbai! Well as of now all I can hope is beg and plead the manager to give me apology for a mistake I have not done. Lets hope I keep staying in this apartment for a long time or atleast till the end of the lease period.

Cheers!

Peace or Pace?

What do I want from life?

Peace or Pace?

Raftar or Thahrav?

I guess being the person I am. I have always wanted peace but I always got pace and subconsciously maybe that was always true for me. Whenever my life starts getting settled peaced out and stagnant, God gives a push and makes it exciting, sometimes good exciting and sometimes not so good. I am purposefully not using the word bad because as I had mentioned in one of my previous posts. I am not using negative words in my life.

I woke up today and realized that I don’t have a job, cash balance is dwindling,  I don’t have a bf, I don’t have a great apartment, I don’t have my own mode of commute and my family is living in a far off city. I should be sad right but I am not. I am hopeful. I have amazing energy, great city in living in, decent new roommates, good looks, time to explore more about my other talents. I am not a perfect person but who is? I am a great human being, compassionate towards humanity, passionate for love and life, family oriented. What else is important than that? Nothing I guess. Rest everything is secondary.

I want pace in life. I want madness. I want to rise. I want to fall. I want to run.  I want to fly. But I just don’t want to stop.                

Encounter with number 11:11

Past few months I have been encountering a lot of 11:11 or 1:11 or 11:1. It seems freaky. I probably would not have noticed but I remember few years back one of my friends in the US told that he was seeing a lot of 11:11 and I think he was mad and his imagination is running wild. But I am coming across the same freaking thing. Whereever I see, clocks, phone time, laptop or tickets just everywhere.
I started researching and apparently it is a phenomenon with a lot of people coming across number patterns.

One of the article in Examiner specifies the following, "Our physical reality is composed of numbers and numeric codes.  At specific times and frequencies, our genetic memory (a.k.a. DNA) is programmed to “take note” of certain digital codes.  The pre-coded 11:11 sparks our DNA and stimulates the mind to a “higher awareness”.  Seeing 11:11 is an intense confirmation of being on the “right track” and of being in alignment with our ultimate life purpose.  The number 11 means balance.
Seeing 11:11 is a wake-up call that opens a direct channel to reflect on what you are doing at this moment and an invitation to move forward in spiritual awareness leading to the “Greater Reality”.  You may choose to use this channel for sending help, prayers, love and positive energy to humanity and all our living beings.  You may also ask for guidance or help in an area of your life.  Sometimes, you may feel more compelled to listen in silence for a disclosure or clarification regarding some aspect of your life.  This sequence can also be seen as a key to unlock the subconscious mind and our pre-programmed genetic memories.  We are spiritual beings having a physical experience, not physical beings searching for a spiritual experience."

Earlier I used to think maybe this is one odd co-incidence, but as days pass by the frequency has been increasing. Apparently there are several million people going through the same phenomenon. The wave says it is a positive time where some people make a wish or sit and pray and think at the positive intention.
I am going to start as well. Let us see what happens, maybe if it makes some good in someone else's life whom we love is a lot.

South Bombay

Sitting in South Mumbai (Breach Candy) to be specific, sea facing apartment of a friend of mine. Just lounging in her bedroom and looking out into the evening sun and gorgeous wind blowing and sun still not ready to set yet. How many people in Mumbai can really claim to find such gorgeous view and feel from their own personal bedrooms. 

I used to feel that South Mumbaites are a different breed, snobs etc etc  until I started hanging out with them, also until I have been I have been myself hanging out in this part of Mumbai, Bandra – South Mumbai.  In fact I have been meeting so many expats, travelers that this experience of not having a regular job has made a curious person out of me. I am liking meeting more and more people and taking their views on India. I do not know whether this new found interest is due to my excessive missing of US and hanging out and seeing people of different colors even in a café.

Starbucks in Taj has become my second hangout spot. People here are from all over the world, less noisy than a typical Indian.  Servers are happy and great and definitely not more expensive than CCD (yes it is the short version of Café Coffee Day or is it Coffee Café Day ;)

My outlook in life has been changing with more interaction with various people. I have always been a nomad at heart, would love to travel the world but not the way these travelers do living out of couches or random people’s apartments. I would rather stay at a 2 star hotel in my worse of financial constraint days.  But that makes you realize life really has given you more than you keep asking for and definitely by plate has a lot of scope for a lot more – better boyfriend, bigger house, fulfilling career  and yes guardian angels bring all these things on.

New York vs Bombay

I very vividly remember the first time I sat in a cafe in Manhattan reading my book. I looked out of the window and there were people of different shapes, sizes, colors, ethincities. Men with pink colored wigs, women dressed up in vest jacket with punk hair. Indians, Mexicans, Chinese, Americans, Europeans, Russians just everyone. New York is one melting pot where everyone coexists without interfering other's space. I was surprised to see though how every 4th person on the street is practically an Indian. The cab drivers are mostly Pakistanis, Bangladeshis or Africans who definitely know about bollywood and few odd songs here and there and they will make sure to sing it out to you. A lot of films have immortalized New York from Central Park, Rockefeller center, Brooklyn bridge, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, NASDAQ to all the high profile nightclubs and pubs. It is a concrete jungle in which you live once and you can survive anywhere in the world. Similar is the case with Bombay. Sitting in Cafe today overlooking the main road and listening to Alicia Keys made me miss New York or generally US too much. I still have all my bestest friends there. I have spent the fun period of life all in the US. Bombay has traits similar to New York. People of all indian cultural ethincities and cultures coexist in Bombay or Mumbai. People come here to fulfill their dreams. Its a concrete jungle where no one gives a damn about whats happening in your life. Life is practical and emotions do not exist. Both the cities are so similar in texture yet so different. Both of them lack the natural beauty where you look out and see beautiful sea or mountains. Once you are addicted to them you are here for life. There are so many people who give up their comfortable lives in the suburbian New York just to get the kick of fast life never realizing the fact that living life does not necessarily mean more money or party life. Same is the case with Bombay where people like me want to live leaving behind the comfortable luxurious life of a small city just to be with people of similar sensibilities. Chalo I am back to my reading sitting in the cafe observing people out. Adios!

Barfiiiiiii

Saw Barfi today. Oh my god Anurag Basu has produced a masterpiece. Visual and emotional treat. People might not remember Bodyguard or Wanted in 10 years but this is a cult movie. Ranbir Kapoor is unbelievable and Priyanka Chopra is adorable. I fell in love with the characters and music. Worse hangover than alcohol ☺.
Anurag has brought forward such a complex thought in a simple way a.k.a ‘Trust’. If we trust the person we love without thinking, life is beautiful and full of love and happiness. How all of us these days complicate our lives with materialistic things. Everywhere I go, the talks of marriage are bound to happen and everyone gives advices that boy should be settled, good family, rich, cultured blah blah blah. But no one ever says marry the person who loves you and trusts your love for him. Half of our lives we worry about the future by thinking about ‘what ifs’. What if he/she is poor, what if he/she becomes physically ill for a long time and you cant take care of him/her. What if we cannot have children, what if our families don’t get along. What if we fall out of love. We have soooooo many what ifs in our lives that we have stopped living in the present. Our love has restrictions and limitations now. There is nothing called selfless love which devours you.
There are extremely few times that we have met that special someone and realized, this is it, but some unforeseen circumstances happen which throw us apart. But if we can trust our partner, those circumstances as destined will still happen but we will know how to deal with it together if the love is true.
The ones who love you will never leave you because even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on.
Another good learning lesson from this movie is that love does come again in our lives knocking on the door when we are not even looking ☺ So, the moral of the story is, “Live unpretended and love unguarded.” And yes I am foolish enough to still believe in it!