New York vs Bombay

I very vividly remember the first time I sat in a cafe in Manhattan reading my book. I looked out of the window and there were people of different shapes, sizes, colors, ethincities. Men with pink colored wigs, women dressed up in vest jacket with punk hair. Indians, Mexicans, Chinese, Americans, Europeans, Russians just everyone. New York is one melting pot where everyone coexists without interfering other's space. I was surprised to see though how every 4th person on the street is practically an Indian. The cab drivers are mostly Pakistanis, Bangladeshis or Africans who definitely know about bollywood and few odd songs here and there and they will make sure to sing it out to you. A lot of films have immortalized New York from Central Park, Rockefeller center, Brooklyn bridge, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, NASDAQ to all the high profile nightclubs and pubs. It is a concrete jungle in which you live once and you can survive anywhere in the world. Similar is the case with Bombay. Sitting in Cafe today overlooking the main road and listening to Alicia Keys made me miss New York or generally US too much. I still have all my bestest friends there. I have spent the fun period of life all in the US. Bombay has traits similar to New York. People of all indian cultural ethincities and cultures coexist in Bombay or Mumbai. People come here to fulfill their dreams. Its a concrete jungle where no one gives a damn about whats happening in your life. Life is practical and emotions do not exist. Both the cities are so similar in texture yet so different. Both of them lack the natural beauty where you look out and see beautiful sea or mountains. Once you are addicted to them you are here for life. There are so many people who give up their comfortable lives in the suburbian New York just to get the kick of fast life never realizing the fact that living life does not necessarily mean more money or party life. Same is the case with Bombay where people like me want to live leaving behind the comfortable luxurious life of a small city just to be with people of similar sensibilities. Chalo I am back to my reading sitting in the cafe observing people out. Adios!

Barfiiiiiii

Saw Barfi today. Oh my god Anurag Basu has produced a masterpiece. Visual and emotional treat. People might not remember Bodyguard or Wanted in 10 years but this is a cult movie. Ranbir Kapoor is unbelievable and Priyanka Chopra is adorable. I fell in love with the characters and music. Worse hangover than alcohol ☺.
Anurag has brought forward such a complex thought in a simple way a.k.a ‘Trust’. If we trust the person we love without thinking, life is beautiful and full of love and happiness. How all of us these days complicate our lives with materialistic things. Everywhere I go, the talks of marriage are bound to happen and everyone gives advices that boy should be settled, good family, rich, cultured blah blah blah. But no one ever says marry the person who loves you and trusts your love for him. Half of our lives we worry about the future by thinking about ‘what ifs’. What if he/she is poor, what if he/she becomes physically ill for a long time and you cant take care of him/her. What if we cannot have children, what if our families don’t get along. What if we fall out of love. We have soooooo many what ifs in our lives that we have stopped living in the present. Our love has restrictions and limitations now. There is nothing called selfless love which devours you.
There are extremely few times that we have met that special someone and realized, this is it, but some unforeseen circumstances happen which throw us apart. But if we can trust our partner, those circumstances as destined will still happen but we will know how to deal with it together if the love is true.
The ones who love you will never leave you because even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on.
Another good learning lesson from this movie is that love does come again in our lives knocking on the door when we are not even looking ☺ So, the moral of the story is, “Live unpretended and love unguarded.” And yes I am foolish enough to still believe in it!

Mumbai rebound missing my apartment

Coming back from town today...

Same wind was blowing in my face

Same rains were falling on those cab windows

The look was the same in my eyes but the feelings were so different.

There was a pain and there was a hope. Pain of missing the past and hope for the coming future.

Just do not know which was stronger. But to balance from falling off, I have to keep pedaling the cycle of life.

Landed back in Mumbai on 28th of August. I had been planning this trip since the day I left Bombay but unfortunately it kept on getting delayed. Maybe that was for the best I don't know, not as yet but I am hoping so. Professional reasons yes its g8, personal not so much.

I freaking miss my apartment so much. Staying at a college friend's place and everytime I cross Juhu PVR or Waves Gym I miss the good times spent with some special people. Feels like part of heart is missing. Topping that list of people i am missing, is my doll, my fiesty little sister who is always right but i never want to acknowledge. The trouble maker and trouble solver of my life. I am also missing a dear friend with whom I had spent the last few days of my previous stay in Bombay.

But now is probably the start of another struggle. Right now I am focussing my life firstly only on professional advancement on what I really want to do and secondly doing a lot of charity work. Helping others makes me soooo happy. Personal life can take a backseat for the time being. I am focussing all my energies on struggling for the next few years to give my career a shape and hopefully in that process my personal life will also take a form. Because when you hold something in your hands too tight or run after some particular thing, it just slips away from your hands like sand. But when you let yourself grow and be a better, stronger and trustworthy person life just becomes more beautiful to live in.

Reactions to pain

Pain does have different effects on people. Some become heartless, some get out of it stronger and some become creative. Now I understand how a lot of writers and singers perenially remain in solemn state of being. The pain, the suffering brings out the creative soul in them. The ideas come much faster. The tears in brain and heart brings out different topics in their creative writing or voice but the problem is all the ideas are related to pain only. So, I guess the best ideas come when you are in the same mind frame as you want to put down on paper/MS Word.
Guess that is the reason singers like Jagjit Singh, Jim Morrison were always in sad intoxicated state. .
There is definitely a corelation between madness and creativity. That reminds me of Imtiaz Ali movie Rockstar showing the same viewpoint. Some people said it is bullshit but I agree. The pain, dard heartache brings the best in some people. But that does not justify for being in that mind frame forever. Who does not want to be happy, smile to be finally be with the one you love and laugh and be merry?

Sometimes all this struggle with pain brings out the best creative brilliance but a lot of times the pain becomes too overwhelming and they succumb to it. There are several stories of geniuses with tormenting relationship between pain and creativity. I know of my favorite people is going through this. Bring out the best in you love. I love you and miss you and hope to see you soon!

Why do we have Belief systems ?

I am writing today's blog in a very sad state of being. Little angry but mostly sad.

I am trying to understand why do people believe in astrology, horoscopes or other psychic sciences. I guess they want to believe that they have some special knowledge which would allow them to take control of their own destiny by seeing what potentially lies ahead. They want to avert danger, take advantage of good opportunities, etc. etc. I am not saying that astrologer's advice is not good. It is much better than no advice at all. Some people need reassurance in whatever form it comes. But astrologers who recommend against particular marriages or projects because of the "stars" might be providing disastrous advice. There is, sadly, no way to differentiate between the two.

I personally don't believe in them, not because they might be false or whatever. I feel we as humans need to live our lives like God wanted us to be, based on unpredictability. If all of us are trying to know the future then where does it place God? He has his ways of dealing when we try to know the future and fight with our destiny. He might say, ok so you found out tentatively that this particular thing will happen to you and got away with it, Great I will put another roadblock in your life when you were busy taking care of and celebrating your little victory.
I would think God wanted all his creations to live the life he created and fight the problems with love, empathy and compassion and face all fears and uncertainties heads on.
I guess astrology is like religion, some people believe in it and others don't. But what confuses me most is how can you base you life's decisions on external factors. Is it the coward in you who needs reassurance in the form of third party that your life will be good or is it you need a third party to blame your failures on.
My horoscope might say that a particular person might prove to be a great husband in terms of all statistics but will I ever be able to fall in love with that person? Great married life means great love, compassion and trust to make you sail through all the difficult times.
Another question which my mind is not able to fathom is if astrologers can tell you about your love life/business/health, do they know what will happen to them next few hours/months/years. Why don't they make their life predictions in such a way that they could be the richest, most successful and people with happiest personal lives. My reasoning would be how much so ever you try to manoeuvre your life but God will throw curve ball at you and then you will not know what to do? You will be yourself hurt and you will hurt all the other people on the way. So, what path is better? Trying to play hide and seek with God or just follow your heart and be mentally and physically ready when God throws lemons. As they said when Heaven throws lemons at you, make a Pink Lemonade. Yummmmmmm...Slurrppppp :)

dooriyan!

Going through a weird turmoil of emotions. Sitting so far but want to be so close to a special person who is going through emotional rollercoaster. Why do we need to have physical distances? Why can't we just book a flight and be near to the ones who need us?

It is so strange that technology, be it phones, internet chatting, or facebook...all these methods help you stay emotionally connected to people placed geographically far. When I skype with someone special, I feel I am with them physically right there just cant touch them. It makes me happy but at the same time frustated of the distance.

When I chat or see facebook pics of my little nephew in US, I feel I am a part of him growing up into a handsome dude.

But I believe whatever happens in life does not kill you makes you stronger and richer human being. Just believe in love and god because love does not come easy. God has very naughty ways of testing all forms of love in human beings.